Liam Livings
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5 things that grind my gears when I read

14/7/2014

12 Comments

 
Some people would say pet hates, I prefer the car analogy. Today I’m talking about things that grind my gears when I read books.

Bad & unnecessary sex scenes I don’t like a sex scene for the sake of a sex scene; it needs to move the plot forward, it needs to show us something about the characters, so they’ve learned something or are different afterwards. Jordan Castillo Price has a theory that all sex scenes is actually about something other than sex: power, distraction, revenge etc. So I’m not a fan of PWP (plot what plot) books – essentially a string of sex scenes one after another, with very little plot or characterisation to hold it all together. If that's your thing, all power to you, but it doe

Too much description - skip to the dialogue & action I find classic books difficult to read for exactly this reason. I cannot get on with Dickens or Hardy. I don’t want three pages of description about how much of a hovel the house they’re in is, or the bucolic view from the window across the field, with the pub in the background and the light shining on the metal of the horse’s reign. I really couldn’t give a monkeys about that. Get. To. The. Action. What are the characters doing? What are they saying to one another? Move it along please...Tell me the story.

Awful unrealistic dialogue -  'life would be so much better if it weren't for these *conversations*.' That was a bit of dialogue from a popular British soap opera. I dislike reading dialogue that makes me think, either ‘people don’t talk like that’ or ‘men/women don’t say those things’. A couple of female friends from the RNA have either their husband, or a female friend to check their male dialogue is realistic. ‘Would your husband say this?’ If the answer is no, then it has to go. Most men, generally don’t pontificate endlessly about how they feel. They tend to say much less than women.

Unnecessary swearing so it loses its impact – the characters use the c word every page or so. I read a book in which the c word had been used four times in the first three pages. It simply loses its impact. Just like in real life if someone swears with every other word, it becomes background noise. The real impact is when a person who never swears loses their temper and swears – then you know something’s wrong. It’s the same in stories. Swearing should be the exception, not the main part of the text.

Too many similar characters in a short story - who was it again?  I do like a good saga. I’m ok with a list of characters at the start of a book. I enjoy immersing myself into a whole world of the cast of characters. That’s ok for a long book of 80k or more words. A short story of 13k words, not so much. A short story with a cast of thousands detracts from the main point of the short story – which is usually the two main protagonists. Stick to those two, and merge some of the other characters. I did this with my short story, Frangipani Kisses which is out in September from Wilde City Press. I had too many characters from the charity shop where the main character works, so I merged a few into one more rounded character.

What grinds your gears in books? Or if you prefer, what are your pet hates in books? Do these resonate with you?

I’d love to hear from you.

If you want to read more, check out my upcoming releases for the rest of 2014.

Best Friends Perfect Book One, is available from Wilde City Press and Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com Book Two is out 27 August and Book Three arrives on 17 December in time for Christmas - for those of you who'd like the full series to binge-read all together over Christmas.

And Then That Happened will be published by Love Lane Books in August.

Frangipani Kisses will be published by Wilde City Press in September.


Until next time,

Liam Livings xx

12 Comments
Lloyd Meeker link
14/7/2014 10:00:18 am

My gears grind when the main characters behave in a way that the reader just knows was engineered to maximize "conflict" -- behavior that doesn't come from a believable, motivated character, but from authorial convenience. Apparently the author doesn't mind that the character is forced to behave like a 15 year-old. Maybe the author doesn't think the character or the story is interesting enough without off-the-charts emotional drama... Just my 2 cents.

Reply
Liam Livings
15/7/2014 04:34:48 am

Very good point, Lloyd, that's really irritating too isn't it! An 'authorial convenience' i'll have to watch out for that :-)

Reply
Lloyd Meeker link
14/7/2014 10:37:31 am

I feel compelled to clarify -- if the character really is 15, then 15 year-old behavior is probably the meat of the story. So not grumbling about YA or NA.

Reply
Liam Livings
15/7/2014 04:35:47 am

*nods* makes sense. It's got to be appropriate to that character, not feeling like they're being manipulated by some authorial conveinence.

Reply
Matthew Metzger link
15/7/2014 03:30:49 am

OTT swearing is good *if you're trying to build the character who swears too much*. It can be awesome atmosphere, really telling about the kind of person they are if every other word out of Joe Blogg's mouth is f-this, s-that, c-u-next-tuesday. Gives you a good grimy character and probably a heck of a lot about their background, beliefs and upbringing. Otherwise, nope, completely agree.

My pet hate is characters for whom sex is never just sex. Sure, sometimes sex is about love and affection and all that mushy stuff, but everyone who has an active sex life or drive has those encounters of "I just want to get off." It's not always making love, sometimes it's just down-and-dirty sex, plain and simple.

Reply
Liam Livings
15/7/2014 04:38:41 am

Agree re swearing. The issue i had was *every one* of the characters in this book seemed to be sweary shouty Joe Blogg's like yours. It all became very tedious.

Hmmm, I'm not sure about the sex thing. I think sex in a story is usually about more than just sex. Even if it is *just sex* then that's a relief/escape from life for a bit, so it's still not just sex, I think.
If a character is having loads of *just sex* you have to ask yourself what they're sexing their life away *from* ... *tumble weed*

Reply
Becky Black link
15/7/2014 04:47:35 am

Nothing will make me DNF a book faster than bad dialogue.

I get very irritated by characters who are so very insecure, and spend the whole time second guessing themselves and being sure that everything they do it wrong, and that just because that hot guy has sent them three dozen red roses and invited them to spend the weekend on his yacht doesn't mean he actually likes them... Grr, grow a spine! :D

Reply
Liam Livings
16/7/2014 04:09:30 am

Yep, bad dialogue is *bad*. In dramas & films too. Just no.
Characters who have no gumption as a farmer friend of mine would say - that's dull too.

Reply
Elin
7/7/2015 04:01:46 am

I agree with all of those apart from the description. I was reading something a few days ago where I was well into the story and yawning a bit before I realised that I had no idea what year it was or where I was and no idea what either protagonist looked like. No wonder I was confused. Some description is fine. Harper Fox's descriptions are clear concise and quirky - just brilliant. And some people weave their descriptions into the action without slowing it down, which is great too.
I also agree with Lloyd. I loathe relationship drama for the sake of it and so I tend not to write it assuming that my guys are grown up enough to sort things out and make sure they are both on the asme page if they are in the same county. But editors tell me that romance readers expect and enjoy the angst and anguish and especially the angry break up sex, the even angrier 'I can't live without you but you're still a cheating toad' sex, followed by the 'best ever in the history of the world, getting back together' sex. :( I don't want to write that.

Reply
Liam LIvings
30/7/2015 11:55:22 pm

Hi Elin, sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this comment *head desk* I think there's something of a balancing act for drama and angst. I've read some romance stories where *nothing* happens. There's no drama, no twists and turns with the relationship, *nothing* this I feel is too far the other way. I think like life love and romance should have an element of having to work for it. Liam x

Reply
Violet link
8/7/2015 02:41:14 am

I loathe phrases being used incorrectly. One of the worst for me is "you've got another thing coming". Arrgghhh!!!! No! It's "think" not "thing". It's another way of telling someone to think again And drives me bananas when I read it (or others) in book after book by the same author. This is something an editor should be catching. It's one thing to have a character use a phrase incorrectly as they might not know the right way to say something, but not in the narrative and not multiple characters. I could rant about this one for ages.

Reply
Liam Livings
30/7/2015 11:57:11 pm

Hi Violet, I never knew that was the correct phrase. It's similar to 'I did it off my own back' it should be 'off my own bat' it's a cricketing phrase. Or when someone says it's a mute point, meaning a moot point. I could go on... Rant away, I am particularly anti 'that' in books. If the sentence makes sense without 'that' it goes.

Reply



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    Gay romance & gay fiction author

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