Liam Livings
Twitter
  • Home
  • Books
    • Kieran series >
      • Kieran's Out
      • Kieran's Pride
      • Kieran's Prince
    • Kev Series >
      • Adventures in Dating...in Heels
      • Rocky Road of Love...In Heels
      • Kicking Up My Heels...in Heels
    • Regiment of Majestic Gays Series >
      • The Regiment of Majestic Gays
      • I Should Be So Lucky
      • Say You'll Be Mine
      • Don't You Want Me
    • Christmas Books >
      • Plus One Christmas Elf
      • Coincidental Christmas Boyfriend
      • Bear Best Friend
      • Mistletoe Kisses
      • A New Life For Christmas
      • Silver Daddy Jingle Bells
    • Standalones >
      • And Then That Happened
      • Wrong Room, Right Guy
      • The Guardian Angel
      • The Player and the Geek
      • The Journalist and the Dancer
      • Unlocking the Doctor's Heart
      • Guarding the Prince
      • Wild for You
      • Love on the Dancefloor
      • Finding Home
      • Perfect Catch
      • The Trouble With Rent Boys
      • When Robbo Met Daniel
    • Non-Fiction >
      • Marketing the Romance
  • Contact
  • GHOSTWRITING SERVICES
  • Liam's Lovely News

Can A Man Love A Man Like A Man Loves A Woman? Gay Marriage

27/4/2014

14 Comments

 
That’s what my cousin’s six year old son asked her before the BF and I came round for dinner. I visit my cousin and her children quite regularly, and most of the time I’m with the BF. My cousin had explained to her son that cousin Liam was coming with *the BF* and that was when he asked that question.

She said yes a  man can love a man like a man loves a woman, and that cousin, Liam and *the BF* loved each other. Her six year old nodded and said OK.


This shows how children react when they’re told about same sex relationships. They really couldn’t give a monkeys. To children it’s a *shrugs* OK, that’s that, I’m off to play with my Ben 10/Spongebob Squarepants.

Children learn their reaction to things from their parents. I am scared of spiders, because Mum is scared of spiders. I remember seeing her jump on the sofa as one scurried across the floor, when I was a child. Mum is scared of swimming out of her depth, and she deliberately didn’t tell us about this when my brother and I were learning to swim as little children. I am not scared of swimming out of my depth.

Children are not homophobic. For children it is about love. Do these two men love each other like mummy and daddy love each other? Yes, ok. As young children they don’t know about the sexual ins and outs of their parents’ relationship, nor do they know about the sexual ins and outs of their uncle Bob and Dave either. Because actually it doesn’t matter.

It’s adults who get all hung up about who does what to whom, and it’s that which results in homophobia. When actually it’s none of anyone else’s business what people get up to in the bedroom.

I watched Gogglebox the week of the legal change in England, and it was really interesting seeing the viewers’ reaction to the gay marriages. Some people looked away from the TV, saying they didn’t like to watch two men kissing.

It was interesting to watch because all the reactions were pretty moderate, probably due to the fact it was being filmed. In the UK now, there’s a general acceptance that being homophobic is as unacceptable as being racist. And none of the Gogglebox people would say anything overtly racist, so any overt homophobic comments weren’t shared either.

Same Sex Marriage

I’ve heard it described as, ‘The final piece of the legislative jigsaw for gay people.’ Because a civil partnership is not the same as a marriage, as this Gay Star article shows, there are seven differences between the two.

And in contrast Andrea Williams, CEO of Christian Concern said, ‘We can’t just redefine an institution – redefine something that always has been – because we say it’s something that we want. This is actually very self-centred. This is not about rights, it’s about seeking cultural dominance and seeking to redefine marriage for all of us.’

Things change. Nothing ‘always has been’ - wives used to be thought of as goods. People used to be sold to other people like you sell cars nowadays. And as for ‘cultural dominance’ come back to me when two men holding hands in public is as acceptable as a man and a woman holding hands. A statement about cultural dominance by gay people could only come from the mouth of a person who has no idea what it’s like living in a world where the norm, the assumption is straight, because statistically there are more straight people than gay people. This cultural dominance is everywhere: every time a workman asks me what my girlfriend thinks about the work; every time I’m asked if I want to add my wife to an insurance policy; even down to buying a two pack of toothbrushes where one is blue and one pink. I'm not criticising this cultural dominance, merely pointing it out to show how ridiculous Williams' statement is.

Interestingly the definition of adultery has not been changed in the law. Adultery is still having sex with someone of the opposite gender. So a gay married couple could not site adultery as the reason for divorce if one of the guys slept with another man. They could site adultery in the divorce if one of them slept with a woman. Of course ‘unreasonable behaviour’ is still grounds for divorce, and I’m guessing if one of the men slept with another man, that would be defined as ‘unreasonable behaviour’ and grounds for divorce.

The language of marriage
I’ve been to quite a few civil partnerships and they have all been described on invites, at the time and afterwards as a wedding. The people involved do not refer to their partners as ‘my civil partner’ because that sounds like some business model like a limited company. No, they all refer to their husbands.

I think it’s important that gay couples can now legitimately and legally describe their joining together as ‘marriage’. The wording used by organisations to conduct marriages has been changed from "marriage is the union of one man with one woman" to now read "Marriage in this country means the union of two people, voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others." Sounds sensible to me.

Like most things, this change is about choice. Now gay people have a choice, they can get married if they want to. I have friends, straight and gay, who’ve been in long term relationships for ten years or more, and some have got married, others haven’t, but now they all have the choice to get married, or not.

Until next time,

Liam Livings   




14 Comments
charlie cochrane
28/4/2014 06:15:28 am

Interestingly, I'm not scared of spiders, but the girls are. I'm scared of frogs. They're not.

In re the real point of the article, I think you're spot on. Attitudes get learned from parents and peers. My lasses are desperate for a gay couple to move in next door.

Reply
[email protected]
28/4/2014 07:12:23 pm

Absolutely, and the stance of *that* religious organisation quotes is definitely not shared by all religious organisations/ people with a belief. Havin spoken to religious and non-religious people, most are very supportive of same sex marriage. :-)

Reply
Charlie Cochrane
28/4/2014 07:44:43 pm

Count me in on the supportive side. Marriage is a civil rite, anyway.

Have you done those edits yet?

Reply
[email protected]
28/4/2014 09:44:44 pm

*nods* the edits, that's another thing entirely...

Reply
Becky Black link
29/4/2014 07:18:36 pm

Aargh, that 'cultural dominance' bit! It seems to mean having to hear the voices of any group who was traditionally dismissed and silenced.

Reply
[email protected]
30/4/2014 08:22:03 am

I know, 'cultural dominance' some think is gays taking over the world. Clearly there will always be fewer gay ppl than straight, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have equality. *climbs off soapbox*

Reply
Kelly Birch
7/5/2014 01:10:29 am

I've worked in childcare for five years.... seven if you include the course I took and you are absolutely right. Children do learn from what is around them, they adapt and recognise reactions in their parents and take that as the norm, simply because they're their role models.

Parents don't sensor themselves around their childreb because they believe "they're to young to understand"... maybe... maybe not, but that depends on the child themselves, but what they're not too young to do is go out and repeat what they've heard at home in the playground and here lies the homophilobic bullying in primary schools.

I was fourteen the first time I was introduced to same sex couples. Why? Because civil partnerships had just been passed and I asked my mum what it meant. She explained and I nodded. She then told me she had never thought to explain to me about same sex relationships because she herself didn't see them as any different to a straight couple. I do wish my mum had mentioned same sex couples to me beforehand, but I also understand her 'forgetting' because she saw them as part of the societal norm. I believe this is the reason I support equal rights for everyone.

I agree with everything in this article... I think you really hit the nail on the head :)

Reply
Liam Livings
7/5/2014 02:02:55 am

Hi Kelly, nice to see I wasn't way off line. I don't have children myself, but I do have a lot of children, in my life through children of friends, and family.
I hope that in years to come we won't have gay pride or gay bars, there will just be bars where people can be themselves, and pride marches where people are proud to be who they are. But I think that's a while off yet.
Liam :-)

Reply
Mark link
8/5/2014 05:47:36 pm

Couldn't agree more with you Liam! Exactly the same thing happened to me with my niece (5 yrs). She asked my brother and sister-in-law one evening, "Does Uncle Mark love Uncle Stephan?" My sister-in-law just replied, "Yes, of course luv. Very much." My niece's answer, "That's nice." She never questioned it further.

Reply
[email protected]
10/5/2014 10:03:17 pm

Exactly, Mark. It's beyond me why people get so worried about children hearing / seeing same sex couples. It's hardly like they're going at it infront of kids. Overt public displays of affection whichever genders involved are a no to me, but i'm v British & restrained like that :-)

Reply
Kendra Patterson link
5/6/2014 01:29:36 am

I completely agree with your statements. Homophobia is just an excuse to hate & discriminate against same sex couples. Glad England passed same sex marriage laws cause I'll never see it happen here (I live in Oklahoma, USA God fearing, Bible beating, conservatives). :( Thx, Kendra

Reply
Liam Livings
11/6/2014 10:36:06 pm

Thanks, Kendra. I'm surprised we have same sex marriage in England really. If someone had told me that fifteen years ago I wouldn't have believed them!

Reply
Charlie Cochrane
11/6/2014 10:41:52 pm

Like when I saw that wedding card with two blokes on, in Romsey, heart of English conservatism!

[email protected]
12/6/2014 08:23:43 am

They walk amongst us ;-)

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Liam Livings

    Gay romance & gay fiction author

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Archives

    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    December 2018
    September 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.