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How To Do As Little As Possible On Holiday

6/8/2014

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After my post about my nom de plume, it reminded me of that phrase everyone says in French when they first learn the language: la plume de ma tante est dans le bureau de mon oncle. Which means my aunt’s pen is in my uncle’s desk. It’s an example of a phrase taught at schools rarely applicable in real life. Eddie Izzard does a whole sketch about le singe est dans l’arbre – the money is in the tree – another equally pointless phrase he was taught at school.

Anyway, I’m mincing about now. Without further ado, here’s some snaps from ma semaine en France avec la famille de mon petit ami – my week in France with my boyfriend’s family. They moved to France near Carcasonne, in 2004 and we’ve had at least a week’s holiday there every year since. Our devices connect automatically to their wifi, we have holiday eau de toilette there, and I've been known to out-bake the BF's mum with my fig tarte, so it's a home from home.

My main objective of the holiday were:
  1. to do as little as possible
  2. to read as much as possible. I normally don't have loads of time to read, as I prioritise writing and real life over reading. I normally read about a book every 3 - 4 weeks
  3. to spent time with the BF's parents

Picture
I spent an *awful* lot of time by here with a book
  • Number of books read 4 ½ - one abandoned due to lack of interest in the characters
  • Number of swims in the pool 7
  • Number of breakfasts of a vat of tea with home made fig jam and French bread – at least eight
  • Number of afternoon tea sessions – 5- no baking it was too hot and see main objective 1 above

Picture
Village square where they live. BF's brother got married in the village and had the reception in the building to the left of the clock tower, called the salle polyvalent - the room of many uses.
Picture
Me in a large chair - something about Alice In Wonderland - at the disused monastery garden.
  • Number of excursions – 4 - a BBQ, Status Quo concert, disused monastery garden, fancy restaurant
  • Number of days when I didn’t leave the property 5 – bliss
  • Number of episodes of Desert Island Discs listened to – 1 Kenneth Williams, and it was brilliant. It’s in the archives, any UK based people should download the podcast and enjoy.

Picture
Le village from the surrounding hills
Picture
One of the 'holiday cats' or chat de vacances as the French say... Whinger - he meows a lot. Ginger - his brother was unavailable for comment.
Picture
The classic French peasant's car Citroen 2CV6. Kieran, from my Best Friends Perfect series of books, drives one of these.
Number of times I snuck off to do edits using the BF's mum's laptop, despite being banned from taking my laptop for *exactly* that reason – 2 - this was for Best Friends Perfect Book Two and Frangipani Kisses – both out in August, so I think I’m excused.

I hope you've enjoyed this and it's inspired you to have a holiday yourself, whether that's a self catering week off work at home, a glitzy cruise around the Bahamas, or a week's camping in Cornwall with the family, whatever makes you happy.

Until next time,

Liam Livings xx


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    Liam Livings

    Gay romance & gay fiction author

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