Attitude magazine listed 20 camp classic films, and I've seen 10 of them. I’m just putting that out there. They defined camp as: ‘Camp turns order on its head – finding humour in tragedy, femininity in masculinity, and value in trash.’
Here's my top 10 camp classic films. All quotes thanks to IMDB, I’m not claiming ownership of the quotes by posting them here. Just saying...
Muriel's Wedding
Camp rating: 9/10
I love this film so much. It’s a classic film structure, the heroin learns, it has a happily ever after. It has a sassy best friend, and some brilliant put down lines. Every time I watch it – and I’ve watched it more than thirty times – I cry, laugh ,and love it even more. It’s a film that delivers you the story. It doesn’t mince about with artsy shots of things, it tells you the story.
Muriel: ‘When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one ABBA song. That’s because my life is as good as an ABBA song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.
Joan: [on 4 different occasions] ‘You’re terrible Muriel.’
Rhonda: ‘Stick your drink up your arse, Tanya! I’d rather swallow razor blades than have a drink with you.’
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of The Dessert
Camp rating: 11/10
Three drag queens drive around Australia in a huge pink bus. Guy Pearce has arms to die for. Terence Stamp plays a post-op transsexual, who falls in love with the man who plays Muriel’s dad in the above film. It’s chock full of amazing costumes, brilliant songs, and has so many quotable lines there’s too many to list. Oh, and that scene with Cynthia, and the ping pong balls. But any more of that’s not for here.
Bernadette: No, I’ll join this conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody ABBA!
Tick: Doesn’t give us much to talk about then does it?
Whatever happened to Baby Jane?
Camp rating: 10/10
Bette Davis and Joan Crawford – who in real life hated one another – play sisters trapped together in a shared house. If you’ve read Best Friends Perfect book two you’ll know how much I love this film, because part of it makes an appearance.
Blanche: You wouldn’t be able to do these awful things to me if I weren’t still in this [wheel] chair.
Jane: But you *are* Blanche! You *are* still in this chair!
Death Becomes Her
Camp rating: 11/10
Helen Sharp (Goldie Hawn) and Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep) are two pretty washed-up Hollywood stars who’ve always hated one another, ever since Ashton seduced Sharp’s husband Ernest (Bruce Willis) from her. Throw in Isabella Rosalini, a potion for making you never age, and some brilliant special effects, camp lines and you’ve got the perfect guilty pleasure film. That is all. This, and other Goldie Hawn films make an appearance in And Then That Happened.
[Goldie Hawn has a gaping hole in her stomach after being shot into a pool.]
Sharp: Look at me, Ernest! Just look at me! I’m soaking wet!
Ernest Menvill: Where did you put my wife? [Ashton]
Doctor: She’s dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
Ernest: The morgue? She’ll be FURIOUS!
Strictly Ballroom
Camp rating: 10/10
It’s Australian, it’s directed by Baz Lurhmann, it’s about ballroom dancing. It’s also got Bill Hunter (Muriel’s dad, and the love interest from Priscilla). It’s all focused on how a dancer wants to win the competition by dancing in *his way* which isn’t according to the strict rules of ballroom dancing. It’s a bit like Dirty Dancing, but Aussie and much much camper.
Barry Fife: There are no new steps!
Scott: Look, a beginner has no right to approach an Open Amateur.
Connie & Carla
Camp rating: 10/10
Two women dress up as drag queens to escape the mob as they get accidentally involved in a shooting. It has so many clips and bits from well-known songs from musicals. It has David Duckovney as a brother or a cross-dressing man, coming to terms with his brother.
Bedrooms & Hallways
Camp rating: 9/10
A nineties sexual identify swap comedy. I've blogged about it in more detail on UK Gay Romance. A gay man, Leo (Kevin McKidd) goes to a men’s group, where he tells the group he’s attracted to Brendan (James Purefoy). And a brilliant comic turn from Darren (Tom Hollander) in all his camp flamboyance.
[After Leo has confessed to Darren he may find a woman attractive Darren’s phone rings] Darren: it’s probably the sex police. Yes...
Angie: Leo, you are a strawberry blond. You can’t go out with an ash blonde, it’s not right!
Legally Blonde
Camp rating: 9/10
A blonde sorority queen is dumped and decides to follow her ex to law school to get him back. I saw this as a play in London for my birthday a few years ago, and it was every bit as fab as a play as a film.
Elle: Hi, I’m Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We’re both Gemini vegetarians.
Warner Huntington IIII: If I want to be a senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
The Birdcage
Camp rating: 11/10
Robin Williams (RIP) and Nathan Lane pretend to be a straight couple so their son can introduce them to his fiancée’s conservative parents.
Armand: It’s like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable.
Armand: what are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?
Agador: It’s aspirin with the A and the S scraped off.
Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea!
Agarod: I know.
Armand: Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I’m a middle-aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I’m not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. F**k the senator, I don’t give a damn what he thinks.
Heathers
Camp rating: 10/10
If you’ve seen Mean Girls, you have to see this. It’s the original teen clique film. It focuses on a group of girls, all called Heather, and how Winona Ryder becomes part of their clique, with a helping hand from Christian Slater. It’s a dark dark comedy.
Veronica: It’s one thing to want someone out of your life, but it’s another thing to serve them a wake-up cup of liquid drainer.
Heather Chandler: Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast? First you ask if you can be red [in croquet], knowing that I’m always red. [puts her croquet ball against the Heather Duke’s and sends it flying]
Valley of the Dolls
Camp rating: 10/10
I’ve read the book, and in comparison, this isn’t as good, but then again when are films as good as the books. However, taken as a film in its own right, it’s pretty amazing. The colour, the outfits, the bitchy lines, the overall trashiness of it knows no bounds. And the *wig* scene from the book is here too – such fun! It’s all meant to be based on Judy Garland and some other Hollywood stars from the sixties, so obviously I was hooked.
Neely O’Hara: I have to get up at five o’clock in the morning and SPARKLE, Neely,SPARKLE!
Helen Lawson: The only hit that comes out of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson, and that’s ME, baby, remember?
Have you seen any of these films?
Which films would make your top ten camp classics?
Or do you not enjoy a bit of camp?
I’d love to hear from you,
Until next time,
Liam Livings xx
Here's my top 10 camp classic films. All quotes thanks to IMDB, I’m not claiming ownership of the quotes by posting them here. Just saying...
Muriel's Wedding
Camp rating: 9/10
I love this film so much. It’s a classic film structure, the heroin learns, it has a happily ever after. It has a sassy best friend, and some brilliant put down lines. Every time I watch it – and I’ve watched it more than thirty times – I cry, laugh ,and love it even more. It’s a film that delivers you the story. It doesn’t mince about with artsy shots of things, it tells you the story.
Muriel: ‘When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one ABBA song. That’s because my life is as good as an ABBA song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.
Joan: [on 4 different occasions] ‘You’re terrible Muriel.’
Rhonda: ‘Stick your drink up your arse, Tanya! I’d rather swallow razor blades than have a drink with you.’
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of The Dessert
Camp rating: 11/10
Three drag queens drive around Australia in a huge pink bus. Guy Pearce has arms to die for. Terence Stamp plays a post-op transsexual, who falls in love with the man who plays Muriel’s dad in the above film. It’s chock full of amazing costumes, brilliant songs, and has so many quotable lines there’s too many to list. Oh, and that scene with Cynthia, and the ping pong balls. But any more of that’s not for here.
Bernadette: No, I’ll join this conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody ABBA!
Tick: Doesn’t give us much to talk about then does it?
Whatever happened to Baby Jane?
Camp rating: 10/10
Bette Davis and Joan Crawford – who in real life hated one another – play sisters trapped together in a shared house. If you’ve read Best Friends Perfect book two you’ll know how much I love this film, because part of it makes an appearance.
Blanche: You wouldn’t be able to do these awful things to me if I weren’t still in this [wheel] chair.
Jane: But you *are* Blanche! You *are* still in this chair!
Death Becomes Her
Camp rating: 11/10
Helen Sharp (Goldie Hawn) and Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep) are two pretty washed-up Hollywood stars who’ve always hated one another, ever since Ashton seduced Sharp’s husband Ernest (Bruce Willis) from her. Throw in Isabella Rosalini, a potion for making you never age, and some brilliant special effects, camp lines and you’ve got the perfect guilty pleasure film. That is all. This, and other Goldie Hawn films make an appearance in And Then That Happened.
[Goldie Hawn has a gaping hole in her stomach after being shot into a pool.]
Sharp: Look at me, Ernest! Just look at me! I’m soaking wet!
Ernest Menvill: Where did you put my wife? [Ashton]
Doctor: She’s dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
Ernest: The morgue? She’ll be FURIOUS!
Strictly Ballroom
Camp rating: 10/10
It’s Australian, it’s directed by Baz Lurhmann, it’s about ballroom dancing. It’s also got Bill Hunter (Muriel’s dad, and the love interest from Priscilla). It’s all focused on how a dancer wants to win the competition by dancing in *his way* which isn’t according to the strict rules of ballroom dancing. It’s a bit like Dirty Dancing, but Aussie and much much camper.
Barry Fife: There are no new steps!
Scott: Look, a beginner has no right to approach an Open Amateur.
Connie & Carla
Camp rating: 10/10
Two women dress up as drag queens to escape the mob as they get accidentally involved in a shooting. It has so many clips and bits from well-known songs from musicals. It has David Duckovney as a brother or a cross-dressing man, coming to terms with his brother.
Bedrooms & Hallways
Camp rating: 9/10
A nineties sexual identify swap comedy. I've blogged about it in more detail on UK Gay Romance. A gay man, Leo (Kevin McKidd) goes to a men’s group, where he tells the group he’s attracted to Brendan (James Purefoy). And a brilliant comic turn from Darren (Tom Hollander) in all his camp flamboyance.
[After Leo has confessed to Darren he may find a woman attractive Darren’s phone rings] Darren: it’s probably the sex police. Yes...
Angie: Leo, you are a strawberry blond. You can’t go out with an ash blonde, it’s not right!
Legally Blonde
Camp rating: 9/10
A blonde sorority queen is dumped and decides to follow her ex to law school to get him back. I saw this as a play in London for my birthday a few years ago, and it was every bit as fab as a play as a film.
Elle: Hi, I’m Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We’re both Gemini vegetarians.
Warner Huntington IIII: If I want to be a senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
The Birdcage
Camp rating: 11/10
Robin Williams (RIP) and Nathan Lane pretend to be a straight couple so their son can introduce them to his fiancée’s conservative parents.
Armand: It’s like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable.
Armand: what are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?
Agador: It’s aspirin with the A and the S scraped off.
Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea!
Agarod: I know.
Armand: Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I’m a middle-aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I’m not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. F**k the senator, I don’t give a damn what he thinks.
Heathers
Camp rating: 10/10
If you’ve seen Mean Girls, you have to see this. It’s the original teen clique film. It focuses on a group of girls, all called Heather, and how Winona Ryder becomes part of their clique, with a helping hand from Christian Slater. It’s a dark dark comedy.
Veronica: It’s one thing to want someone out of your life, but it’s another thing to serve them a wake-up cup of liquid drainer.
Heather Chandler: Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast? First you ask if you can be red [in croquet], knowing that I’m always red. [puts her croquet ball against the Heather Duke’s and sends it flying]
Valley of the Dolls
Camp rating: 10/10
I’ve read the book, and in comparison, this isn’t as good, but then again when are films as good as the books. However, taken as a film in its own right, it’s pretty amazing. The colour, the outfits, the bitchy lines, the overall trashiness of it knows no bounds. And the *wig* scene from the book is here too – such fun! It’s all meant to be based on Judy Garland and some other Hollywood stars from the sixties, so obviously I was hooked.
Neely O’Hara: I have to get up at five o’clock in the morning and SPARKLE, Neely,SPARKLE!
Helen Lawson: The only hit that comes out of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson, and that’s ME, baby, remember?
Have you seen any of these films?
Which films would make your top ten camp classics?
Or do you not enjoy a bit of camp?
I’d love to hear from you,
Until next time,
Liam Livings xx
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