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Why it's important to retain a sense of humour even in the darkest times

9/7/2013

2 Comments

 
I think it’s so important to be able to laugh, even during the darkest times in life.

In one of her stand up shows, Joan Rivers told a story about how her husband’s suicide affected their daughter: she hadn’t spoken for days, and she didn’t make eye contact, only staring at the ground, peering through her fringe. One evening they were at dinner together, at a fancy restaurant, and as she looked at the menus, Joan said to her daughter, ‘If daddy hadn’t already killed himself, seeing these prices would have made him do it now!’ To which her daughter smiled and made eye contact for the first time since her father’s death.

Picture
Joan Rivers (David Shankbone's pic)
At the Boyfriend’s granddad’s funeral, they were all sat in the car, approaching the crematorium and his dad started to quote a joke from Rodney Rude, his favourite Australian comedian: ‘Granddad got burned today,’ he began. The Boyfriend looked at his dad, who continued, ‘How badly?’ and he finished with, ‘Well they don’t f**k about at the crematorium.’
A friend was very ill for a month or so in hospital, being visited by an endless round of grapes toting, sideways head tilting and sympathetic simpering friends, until his best friend turned up, plonked herself in the seat, looked around the room and said, ‘You look like sh*t, when you getting out so we can have a drink? Where can I have a fag?’ It was the first time he’d smiled since being admitted to hospital.

I try to use this approach in my writing.

Picture
Hoots mon, it's the flag of Scotland - the Saltire, or Saint Andrew's Cross
In Best Friends Perfect, Kieran comes out to his mum and she asks all those awkward and questions, which is hard for them both.  His mum changes the subject suddenly to a holiday in Scotland she’s planning, to which Kieran advised her she must end every phrase to Scottish people, with ‘Hoots mon.’ After listening to her rave about seeing Enya while she’s there he explains she’s unlikely to see her in Scotland since she’s Irish.

Do you have any examples of using humour in dark times? Or do you think it's totally inappropriate? I'd love to hear from you.

Until next time

Liam x
2 Comments
Sue Brown link
11/8/2013 09:43:08 pm

After my father died we had a fish and chip takeaway and told bad jokes, mostly about my father. He would have loved it. There were tears but lots of laughter too. That's my family. At the darkest times humour saves us.

Reply
[email protected]
12/8/2013 02:53:38 am

I couldn't agree more, Sue.
People can get very touchy about laughing or joking at times like that, but I think it's very important. Liam

Reply



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    Liam Livings

    Gay romance & gay fiction author

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